Is it possible to stop hating someone without learning to like them?

One possible response is to dislike them in return. It feels balanced: they have placed you on one side, so you place them on the other. Soon each ordinary encounter arrives already interpreted. Their silence is contempt. Their success is annoying. Their mistake is satisfying.

The other possible response is not affection. Discovering a hidden virtue, winning approval and inviting the person closer are all unnecessary. You can stop treating their hostility as an assignment to produce an equal feeling.

Begin with what the situation actually requires. Work may require a clear answer, a shared deadline or civil cooperation. Give that. An inner trial of the other person every morning serves none of those tasks.

If their conduct obstructs the work, name the conduct rather than guessing at the motive: “I was not included in the decision I am expected to carry out.” A specific problem can be addressed. “You hate me because you are jealous” is a story the source chapter considers, but a story is not knowledge simply because it would explain the coldness.

This matters because the search for a reason can keep the other person at the centre of your attention. Perhaps they feel threatened. Perhaps they misunderstood something. Perhaps they simply do not like you. None of those possibilities tells you to hate them back.

The peaceful middle is practical. You remain polite without performing friendship. You correct false claims without turning every exchange into a contest. You spend less time checking whether their mood has changed. If distance is available, you use enough of it to keep the hostility from setting the tone of your day.

Their behaviour may improve, or it may not. The point is not to produce a warm ending. At the next meeting, the colleague may still avoid your eyes. You can answer the question on the table, finish the work and leave without carrying their dislike home as your own.