Does feeling useless mean you have nothing to offer?
In a hurried meeting, the person who explains things patiently can seem like the person slowing everyone down.
The others already know the background. They want a quick answer, so they interrupt the explanation and move on. After enough meetings like that, the patient speaker may begin to wonder whether they contribute anything at all.
That feeling does not establish that they have nothing to offer. In these meetings, their patient explanations are being cut short before they can help. There is still a difference between an ability being unwanted in one setting and having no value.
A Spark from The Vision
You are never useless. You just need to find your place.
Later, a new colleague asks how the work is organised. The quick answer leaves them confused. The patient explanation helps because they do not yet know which part comes first or why the later steps depend on it.
The same detail that felt excessive in the meeting now gives someone a way to begin. The speaker has not acquired a new ability between the two conversations. A different person needs what they can already do.
In “Appreciation and value”, Innocent makes room for this difference between what a person carries and how the people around them receive it. Being undervalued can hurt confidence without settling the question of value. He encourages finding relationships in which one’s qualities are recognised and useful.
That can require discernment on both sides. The experienced group may reasonably need a shorter explanation. The speaker can learn to give one without deciding that patience itself is a flaw. They can also notice that helping newcomers is work they do well and would like to do more often.
Find the part someone can use
“I want to be useful” is a difficult request for another person to answer. Something specific gives both of you more to consider. You might offer to explain the first steps to a new colleague, check a document for missing information or stay with a repetitive job that others find difficult to finish.
Then pay attention to what actually helps. Appreciation is welcome, but useful detail goes further than general praise. Did the colleague understand enough to begin? Did your check catch something important? Did the explanation need to be shorter, clearer or given at a different time?
Sometimes the answer will reveal a gap in what you can do. You may need to learn more before taking on the task. Sometimes it will reveal a poor fit, or a group unwilling to recognise a contribution. Those are different difficulties, and each asks for a different response.
Finding a more receptive setting can take time. You may not be free to leave the work or relationships in which you feel overlooked. Even then, it helps to keep the judgment precise. You can recognise that your contribution is going unused there without making that the final account of what you have to offer.
Related lessons
AI-generated from Innocent Mwatsikesimbe's writing.
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