Other people’s opinions of you will never quite match who you are — and Innocent spent years letting them matter more than was healthy, getting mad whenever someone spoke badly of him. What changed everything was one realisation: what people say you are and what you know you are are two different things.

“Even though I am constantly changing, I still know myself more than anyone can claim to know me.” Both opinions count, he says — theirs helps you avoid useless conceit, yours enables self-actualisation — but how much weight each carries is something you decide, and yours should weigh more.

With that settled, criticism loses its sting without losing its use: you can hear a negative opinion, learn what’s in it, and just move on.