The best in me, the beast in me

It is rather difficult to control your emotions when the things around you evoke them. The familiar circumstances, souvenirs or remnants: all reminders of that emotionally challenging experience you encountered. I learnt this from being betrayed.

When a person close to you betrays your trust, a lot of negative feelings develop. These emotions demand attention and make it hard to live life in your normal way.

On first glance, the feelings might seem to be your enemy; opposing everything you do, but they are also an incredible source of motivation, if dealt with properly. As I tried to come to terms with the experience, I discovered that it brought out two contrasting sides of my personality. It brought out the best in me, as I garnered from it the strength to move on and love life still. The process wasn’t easy though.

The beast in me was brought out too. That’s when all those negative emotions led me to believe and act in negative ways. I adopted a protectionist attitude and pushed people away, in efforts to get some space and figure out what was happening to me.

A subdued inclination to revenge, brought on by the negative feelings, troubled me. I felt like hitting back, but reasoning told me otherwise. It wouldn’t solve a thing. I needed to reclaim the peaceful state of mind I once had. That’s how the best in me came out. Through listening to reason and constantly trying to be above the problem.