Feeling alone

Feeling alone in a place full of people

People coming, people going.
All in a rush to get to somewhere.
They pass me by without my knowing,
No greeting, no eye contact, it’s like I’m not there.

I stand in the midst of all the activity,
Their ignorance slowly killing my sensitivity.
My mind is going numb as I turn my attention inward,
To this large space full of nothing, a place I call my heart.

Just by looking at me, you can tell,
That something is missing, and all is not well.
There’s a deficit, a shortfall if you may.
Of someone’s affection, and all the attention she used to pay.

My mind is running amok, viciously searching for explanations.
I catch a thread and follow it, till I reach a conclusion, or to the point of exhaustion.

I do this till I’ve sorted out my mind,
So that I come out of the experience more focused, and ready to leave the thing behind.

I can’t say I didn’t learn a thing,
I would be the greatest liar alive.
In my mind now so many bells ring,
And my instinct once again proves to be king.
Why she couldn’t tell me the truth, I don’t yet understand,
That this was just a fling, which she now wanted to end.

An angel of heartbreak she is,
I could tell from the start though.
Discreet and very careful,
Her true colors she refused to show.
But I was curious and wanted to see where we would go.

So I watched her maneuver her way in,
I didn’t raise alarms, didn’t say a thing.

I don’t have regrets,
I was prepared for the worst.
I knew what I was getting into, I was aware of the risks.
But I prayed for the best, and looked out for kicks.

I found her irresistible, even though I knew it could end bad.
I’ve finally accepted it, she’s gone.
They say time heals all,
And soon I won’t be feeling so alone.